Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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