Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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