Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
