Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
