He uses pillows to masturbate.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
