Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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