I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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