Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
