I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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