he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
