You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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