That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
