when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
