Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
