You smell like stripper and shame
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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