Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Randomize
