Do you still have your period?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Two words: blizzard sex
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
