Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
