Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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