I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
