We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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