I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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