Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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