Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
