Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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