Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
