Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
