He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
