That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
