He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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