Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
