no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
