if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
