i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
