Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
