New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
