Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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