okay pat passed out under dana's car
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
