Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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