Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
