I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
