didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
