Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
