Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
