Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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