the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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