True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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