He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
