What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
not ubering you a puppy
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
