So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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