Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
